Words From My Heart
by Chaylorlove
Summary: A Set of poems i wrote about a special guy
1. Chapter 1

My Secret Lover

He has it all, He has the look, he has the swagger and most of he has me. It started out innocent enough. A little flirting here and there, no problem right? Wrong. He told me his game and we talked late at night, but we got back to school and it changed… the magic was gone. Well what he saw was gone, but a piece of me still kept him. I did all I could to get rid of my feelings: I deleted his text and number multiple times. I developed a shell. I ignored him, but my heart longed for him so I got his number and texted him. Unknowingly to him he's my drug. He told me he loved me you know. Said I was his boo when he never texted me back, but he has a girl. Still though, late at night we talk and I share my love with him. But no one knows and will never know My Secret Lover.

Late Night Love

Late night love. My favorite kind. But this isn't what you think though. What he gives me is his words. Every time he speaks he steals my heart away. Every time he sits in his seat next to me I look away and ignore him. But when I get home and it's late at night I text him. I ask him about his day, why was he so sad? He tells me. He trusts me you know, never hides things from me. I compliment him to make him feel better and he accepts. I always urge him to compliment his female friend but he doesn't, except once. We were talking and he said he loved me, I was scared to say it back, but he wanted me to. So I did in a flirty manner, as I had learned to accomplish. We go back to school, we ignore each other. So here I sit in World History, as he's close enough for me to touch him and wait till later on tonight for his Late Night Love.

" His Number One fan"

Here's another poem about him in my little trilogy. But this ones different. I watch him all the time now, I see him flirt with practically every girl that walks by him. He used to do that to me you know, all the time and I never minded. I ignored him all the time, he wasn't important to me. But I don't know what happened to that girl. I', his number one fan now, I think. Even his Girl can't be compared to me. He tells me everything because he knows he can trust me. I'm his number one fan, the girl who'll worry when he doesn't show up for school and worry when he's sad and no one else cares. I'm his number one fan you know but guess what, he'll never know…

Change

I hate that word, I admit. It's what everyone wants me to do. Change so you can have friends, so people will talk to you, so you can finally get a boyfriend. But why? I don't understand…. Why would I change myself for someone else when they wouldn't for me? That's not my style… I talk to my friends at Leon and my family would never believe how I act when I'm with them we have fun. We talk about future weddings and look up stuff and talk about our latest and greatest boy problems. They're my best friends because they don't want me to change. That's why I love them, that's why I trust them, that's why I'll do anything for them. Because unlike everyone else in the world they don't want me to change.

A little thing called sadness

Sadness is a little thing or at least it used to be. It can consume a person, steal them away and turn their back against the world. It can make them think that the only person who believes in them is them. It can change a person demeanor, their attitude, their passions and hobbies. But people these days don't understand that. They're probably laughing now thinking oh god another one, but that's the attitude that makes people lose themselves in the world. Makes them run away, makes the news sad. And there's that word again, unfortunately people these days don't pay attention to it and they wait till they're near depression and joke about it. Like it's funny that you're in so much pain tat even you don't understand. But why? Why do they think it's funny are they heartless in the words of Kanye West? Are they thinking your doing it for attention? These reasons may be true but either way it's still there. I've been there you know, and back many times. I've dealt with it by myself until I got till a point. But they still didn't understand, I don't trust them enough to tell the truth because they're just gonna laugh. They don't see what I see when I look in the mirror. They don't hear guys say that they don't want fat girls. And I hear them sayin I'm too cute for weight. But guess what my weights taught me so many things these last 15 years. It's taught me strength; it's taught me not to care what people say not even my family. It's taught me how to prove people wrong. But there's one thing it's taught that tops all… it's taught me this little thing called sadness.

" My True Ultimatum"

What is a ultimatum? It's the final decision. My ultimatums haven't been good recently I admit, but this is the best: he doesn't care. It took me a while to come up with this decision about a month and a half but it's true. I though he did you know. I guess I am a true fool too believe his promises, too believe what he said was true. My first heartbreak, my first love, my first everything. But there's one more thing he was. My first true ultimatum.

" My Inspiration'

It takes a lot to get me inspired to write again. It takes a lost or a gain. But it's amazing how one person can inspire me. I wrote five poems. All thanks to him. He's my inspiration you know. Just the thought of him breaks me down ( 1 sentence), the presence of him ( 4 sentences) the alto of his voice ( 6 sentences) and the view of him ( 10 sentences0. 2 sentences about him. But when he talks 2 me specifically I can write a hundred sentences. His effect on me triumphs everything and all other things don't matter. His words heal me you know. I take them and seal them on my heart never to be let out again. Whether it's the sparkle in his eyes, the ringing of his laugh or the boom in his voice, he lights up the room. He's real, he's true, he's my inspiration.


	2. Chapter 2

" It's me"

This is another poem. Is it about him you ask? Of course it is. I'm stuck how do you mend a heart that you broke yourself? How do you fix an ego you ripped apart? I ask myself these questions constantly these days. I can't blame him he doesn't know, he doesn't care. So why is my heart stuck? Why can't I put it back together? Maybe my pain from past situations has finally broken me. Perhaps this is true, I don't know. But there's on thing I do know. Something's stopping me, holding me back and it's not the world it's not him… it's me,

" Things he'll never know"

If you've read my other poems, you know about this guy and as I look from afar my heart sighs with all the things he'll never know. He'll never know how quickly I fell for him. He'll never know how one word from him brightens my day. He'll never know how I long to talk to him and show him my other side. Show him how I truly am…. Prove that I'm good enough. Prove to him how I feel. He'll never know how I feel. He'll never know I now cringe when I hear his voice, wishing it was me receiving his comments. He'll never know these things, no not at all. But there's one thing I wish he knew. I wish he knew he was losing me. Slowly but surely he was losing me. I was pulling back away taking a piece of my heart back with me each step I take away from him. Yes he's losing me, but that's not the sad thing, the sad thing is he doesn't care and worse he'll never know.

" His Voice"

I have to admit I'm very sensitive to voices, I can tell a lot from someone's voice. But when he says my name I don't know it's different. I immediately stand at attention What does he want? What does he need? How can I help? Yes I'm sprung to the highest level. It's not fun being sprung alone. He doesn't deserve me you know. I deserve better. Someone who will love me unconditionally. He can't do that I know. He's self-centered, he's cocky. He can't do anything for me. I can't count or trust him. But he can trust me, I'll be there I always will be. I'll give the best advice I can. I'll tell him he's special. I'll always be here waiting… waiting for him to throw a distress signal and I'll show up my heart waiting to be broken, my confidence to be crushed but when he says my name it's all worth it.

" Pain"

I don't believe that people always deserve pain. He doesn't. I hate to see him sad, it kills me you know. He doesn't deserve it. He may not be the best guy in the world but he's sweet to me, he talks to me when I text him, which is a lot more that other guys. I don't know if this is love or not. But if it is I'm alone. I hope his girl never hurts him or cheats she has the best guy in the world. It's amazing how I feel about him when he doesn't even care about me. I'm not pretty enough or dressed. But when we text it's like we forget what each other looks like and it's just words. Either way I'll be there to soften his pain anyway I can. Because that's what people in love do


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